31 December 2007

Not Quite Ready

Oh, gosh. I had a dream last night that it was my wedding day. It was awful.

I won't specify to whom, in hopes of avoiding embarrassment, but I woke up (in my mom's house) and this guy was being a jerk to me and then he disappeared as I started getting ready. I already had a dress and it was ugly and I went to put on my shoes and one was black and one was navy and one of them had a heel on it so I couldn't stand straight and we thought someone had accidentally put on my other shoe so we had to go down into a huge crowd to find it.

Then one of my friends, who I love, showed up and was sad because she wasn't a bridesmaid and she gave me a present and hugged me and cried and I realized I didn't even get to pick my bridesmaids, and then I saw they were Jamie, Lacie, and Keira....wearing the exact same dresses they wore to Erica's wedding. I still couldn't find my husband-to-be anywhere and I wanted to call the whole thing off but I didn't want to disappoint everybody even though I didn't love him.

People kept showing up and trying to talk to me when I was trying to get ready. My two cousins came in bawling their heads off (I couldn't figure out why) and I hugged them and stood in front of the mirror and realized I had no one to do my hair. It was just back in a ponytail and I started crying because I didn't want to feel not beautiful on my wedding day. I saw JR and told him to go find my guy and so he left to look for him. I contemplated just running off at the last second.

Everything else from my dream was pretty hazy. I think I woke up before the actual ceremony but there was a lot of crying and a lot of overwhelmingness (new word) and I remember thinking, "How did Erica do this!?" And then I woke up.
I went to donate blood this morning. It was in the New Strawn Community Building -- freezing!! I shivered through the preliminaries and only pulled a 12.3 on my first iron test (12.5 minimum) but another lady came and tried a finger on my other hand. We waited for results and she asked about my plans for New Year's. I told her I was hanging out with some friends. She told me to be careful about drinking after just giving blood. I told her I don't drink. Second result: 13.1. Pass. They made me drink an entire bottle of water. "You don't have to chug it," she said. "Take a seat and relax." I finished it and got in a chair. Five nurses tried to find a vein. Three also tried my left arm. No luck. There was one, but it was small. "Not today," they said. "We want your experience to be a good one, and if we go rooting around in there, it won't be a good experience, at least not for you." "Okay," I said. And I left. "Do you want a T-shirt?" they asked as I headed out the door. "No, I'm good. Thanks."
Boo. What makes veins small? Cold? Because I was cold; they were probably constricting in such low temperatures.


menard said...

i really wanted to give blood in august but i couldn't. they said my iron was too low :(

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