I posted this awhile ago on Facebook, but some people might not have noticed or don't have Facebook. I'm not sure who really wrote this, but I think it's hilarious. It just makes me laugh every time I read it. I'd memorize this and use it in stand-up...if I did stand-up.
from Jimmy Nguyen's "US Capitalism and Influence on Foreign Nations"
God loves America, and that’s why he’s on our money. And money is important to the world, because without money, people would be poor. Many nations are poor because they have no money. America tries to give them money sometimes but I don’t think they know how to use it because they’re still poor. I think they try to eat the money because they’re spoiled by missionaries who give them food instead of teaching them how to get money. I think that’s what they mean by “nickels a day can feed a child.” I thought, “How can food be so cheap over there?” It’s not. They just eat the nickels.
Church was good this morning. I saw Lu which was incredible. The sermon was the last part in a four-part series about heaven, and one verse really stood out to me:
1 John 3:2 --
Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears,[a]we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.Pastor Joe used this verse to describe what heaven will be like. These words seemed really powerful: we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is. How amazing is that -- as soon as we see Christ in heaven, we will be like him simply because we see him fully as he is. It's almost hard to fathom. Can you imagine if anything else was like that? Like...something random...if there was some incredible athlete who had less than 2% body fat and was incredibly strong -- if you heard about him all the time and then you get the chance to actually see him, if seeing him caused you to become just like him. . .
Okay, so that's a really bad analogy, but you get the idea. Wow.